A Thousand Times

I've written about you a thousand times

Many have thought it to be them

Many have accused it to be someone actually

But it was the essence of you in my imagery.

I've written to you over the years

The essence of a vision unknown

Many have thought that you were there

Not knowing that you were only in prayer.

I've cried for you a thousand times

Never knowing if it was all in my head

Your existence was all that I knew

Never did I know it was really you.

I've longed for you with the depths of my soul

Paddling along until you caught my sight

Wishing, waiting for you to arrive

Please save me from loneliness before I die.

A thousand times, I didn't want paper bag dreams

People shopping for love when they

Don't know what that means

People wasting their life

On physical needs

Paper bag dreams.

A thousand times I turned love away

People thinking love is a game to be played

Only thinking of love as temporary

Don't know the true depth

Of what love entails

It's just lust.

A thousand times, I didn't want to share your treasure

Knowing one day, you'd draw near

Knowing one day, love would be sincere

Knowing one day, love would fall into the right hands.

A thousand times, I reviewed my desires

I didn't just want temporary fire

I wanted you and only to be with forever

Not just on days where its only fair weather

Not just on nights when the moon enters phase

Not just on moments that love throws no shade.

A thousand scenarios described what's not love

Promises of roses, only sticks with thorns

Poetic conversions of what's considered norm

None of that is anything true

None of that describes the love I found in you.

A thousand times on a thousand nights

A thousand chance to find what's right

A thousand observations of what's not true

A thousand night's spent praying for you

A thousand dedications that I didn't save in vain

A thousands tears have made it rain

A thousand days and nights are through

And now its all about me and you.

Kahala Lei

copyright 2017