Dear Mom,
We've come a long way since those days, haven't we? So many years of pain and strife and we never knew what for, just that there was something different inside me, that nobody else in the family had. I always knew it and I think you did too, but just didn't know how to deal with it. Mom, I want you to know that I forgive you. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused, whether I meant to or not. I only did what I knew to be right at the time. Now looking back upon things, I wouldn't change anything but my self pity, for I have learned quite a bit of lessons that will serve me for the rest of my life.
I've learned to never give up, never give in. Somehow I don't think that was ever in my blood. I don't know why so, but my spirit won't let me put up a white flag.
My ambition is enough to fulfill a thousand dreams and my only regret is having only one life in which to choose my direction. I would have to chalk that one up to my "I'll show you" attitude. I certainly show a lot of insights to a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder if that's a gift or curse because I get so weary with people not believing until its too late. It often gets tiring to have to constantly go back and help someone whom I have already helped, but somehow it makes me feel used inside to know that I'm only appreciated when I'm providing a service - much of which people don't even offer me a glass of water for.
I know you missed out on so many years of my life and only wished throughout those years that you would have been right by my side for some of it, but you know what? I had what I needed, I got over it and eventually survived. We now have lots of coffee talk to do, God permitting. It wasn't so bad after all. Just felt that way at the time.
I apologize for writing here, Mom. I understand that you have work and such, and sometimes I can be a bit needy in the attention department. One day I'll master that. I think I just get lonely. I have waited so long for the day we'd be able to build a relationship, that I get too anxious to talk to you. I know that you're sick and I'm struggling with my own health problems, Mom. I don't want these words to go unsaid. I forgive our past. I love you.
Pretty soon I will be closing these doors and opening new ones. As time progresses, I hope our relationship will too.
Love Always,
Your Lil China Doll
We've come a long way since those days, haven't we? So many years of pain and strife and we never knew what for, just that there was something different inside me, that nobody else in the family had. I always knew it and I think you did too, but just didn't know how to deal with it. Mom, I want you to know that I forgive you. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused, whether I meant to or not. I only did what I knew to be right at the time. Now looking back upon things, I wouldn't change anything but my self pity, for I have learned quite a bit of lessons that will serve me for the rest of my life.
I've learned to never give up, never give in. Somehow I don't think that was ever in my blood. I don't know why so, but my spirit won't let me put up a white flag.
My ambition is enough to fulfill a thousand dreams and my only regret is having only one life in which to choose my direction. I would have to chalk that one up to my "I'll show you" attitude. I certainly show a lot of insights to a lot of people. Sometimes I wonder if that's a gift or curse because I get so weary with people not believing until its too late. It often gets tiring to have to constantly go back and help someone whom I have already helped, but somehow it makes me feel used inside to know that I'm only appreciated when I'm providing a service - much of which people don't even offer me a glass of water for.
I know you missed out on so many years of my life and only wished throughout those years that you would have been right by my side for some of it, but you know what? I had what I needed, I got over it and eventually survived. We now have lots of coffee talk to do, God permitting. It wasn't so bad after all. Just felt that way at the time.
I apologize for writing here, Mom. I understand that you have work and such, and sometimes I can be a bit needy in the attention department. One day I'll master that. I think I just get lonely. I have waited so long for the day we'd be able to build a relationship, that I get too anxious to talk to you. I know that you're sick and I'm struggling with my own health problems, Mom. I don't want these words to go unsaid. I forgive our past. I love you.
Pretty soon I will be closing these doors and opening new ones. As time progresses, I hope our relationship will too.
Love Always,
Your Lil China Doll
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