"It was horrible. One could smell the stench of the bodies laying all over the ground. I saw my father's corpse but had to walk past it because I didn't want to be killed next. I still had my two brothers and a sister to look after. We never saw our mother again. Our families were all separated.
The next morning, they took us to this big building. They gave us funny looking clothes and assured us we'd be safe. They even gave us new names. My new name was Jane Smith. I didn't think I looked like a Jane Smith. I liked my old name. I liked my old life. I didn't understand what happened.
There were lots of other kids that looked like us there. Some of them even spoke english. The ones who spoke english looked like the rest of us, but they acted like those men who brought us here. This was so new to me, so weird.
After our first winter was over, they brought us all to gather in the field. They told us that we couldn't speak our languages anymore because they didn't want us to hide anything from them. They told us to trust them. They said we could not dance in the rain unless we wanted to be burned forever. They said this was for our safety from the enemy. They said the enemy knew our native tongue and that they would protect us. Even though I was still young, somehow I knew something was wrong. I felt so alone and didn't know what to do. One time, I disobeyed the pale faced man's orders and got myself whipped 30 sound lashings.
I kept asking about our home. I wanted to go home. Time and time again I went over the day we left, so that I could one day go back to find my mother. So one day I ran away. I ran through the woods do fast I almost didn't see the trees go by. I ran all the way back to where we lived, but maybe I got something mixed up. There were a bunch of brick buildings all in a neat row, but my home - everybody's homes were gone! I did my best to look all over, just to make sure that I didn't get lost and that's when I saw the stump. That stump used to be where the totem pole was. I know because even the trees were the same. I saw the carvings on the bottom belonged to us. But where were the rest of our families?
Right about then, a pale faced woman started screaming and pointing at me. A bunch of men were running toward me and when I turned my heels to run, one of them shot me. Before I could fully feel any pain, it felt like my body split. I could see myself lying on the ground, but I was moving further away from my body.
I am no longer of the world, no longer feeling as I did before. I am with the ancestors now, watching down upon my great nieces and nephews. They are beautiful people. I only wish they knew who they are. It's hard to watch them live so misguided by life. Life used to be lived in circles, but now it is flat. The brick and stone buildings have destroyed centuries and eons of ancient history. Our children are so concerned with a mankind that is not theirs, that they have lost much connection to our Mother Nature. It is so sad to watch. When they get here, I will teach them all about their history. "
Page 91 of the Lil Indian Diary
The next morning, they took us to this big building. They gave us funny looking clothes and assured us we'd be safe. They even gave us new names. My new name was Jane Smith. I didn't think I looked like a Jane Smith. I liked my old name. I liked my old life. I didn't understand what happened.
There were lots of other kids that looked like us there. Some of them even spoke english. The ones who spoke english looked like the rest of us, but they acted like those men who brought us here. This was so new to me, so weird.
After our first winter was over, they brought us all to gather in the field. They told us that we couldn't speak our languages anymore because they didn't want us to hide anything from them. They told us to trust them. They said we could not dance in the rain unless we wanted to be burned forever. They said this was for our safety from the enemy. They said the enemy knew our native tongue and that they would protect us. Even though I was still young, somehow I knew something was wrong. I felt so alone and didn't know what to do. One time, I disobeyed the pale faced man's orders and got myself whipped 30 sound lashings.
I kept asking about our home. I wanted to go home. Time and time again I went over the day we left, so that I could one day go back to find my mother. So one day I ran away. I ran through the woods do fast I almost didn't see the trees go by. I ran all the way back to where we lived, but maybe I got something mixed up. There were a bunch of brick buildings all in a neat row, but my home - everybody's homes were gone! I did my best to look all over, just to make sure that I didn't get lost and that's when I saw the stump. That stump used to be where the totem pole was. I know because even the trees were the same. I saw the carvings on the bottom belonged to us. But where were the rest of our families?
Right about then, a pale faced woman started screaming and pointing at me. A bunch of men were running toward me and when I turned my heels to run, one of them shot me. Before I could fully feel any pain, it felt like my body split. I could see myself lying on the ground, but I was moving further away from my body.
I am no longer of the world, no longer feeling as I did before. I am with the ancestors now, watching down upon my great nieces and nephews. They are beautiful people. I only wish they knew who they are. It's hard to watch them live so misguided by life. Life used to be lived in circles, but now it is flat. The brick and stone buildings have destroyed centuries and eons of ancient history. Our children are so concerned with a mankind that is not theirs, that they have lost much connection to our Mother Nature. It is so sad to watch. When they get here, I will teach them all about their history. "
Page 91 of the Lil Indian Diary
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