2012 didn't start out to look like it would be a great year. I brought the New Year in, coming home from the hospital, with no clue on if my situation would ever get better. I was working 6 days per week, getting ripped off by my boss, problems with my kids and school, sick all the time, house ill fit, just loaded with grief.
Issues with work were quickly heating up. There was just no way they could remain as is. This man was holding my house over my head, for free labor and there was nothing I could do until I was in a better position. With Kalani gone, I lost my one person who I could come home to and kukakuka with.
My kids were feeling the stress. The boys were doing bad in school and Leilani has developed an awful attitude problem. Nobody wanted to be around each other, because the house was so small, we felt like we were on top of each other. We could never go anywhere or do anything and our church family was falling apart over politics.
I was passing out a lot and this made the kids worry. My boss was getting worse, we couldn't keep a staff at work, for the way he treated people, the school wanted to lock up my six year old, or have him removed from home.
After having spent so much time in and out of the hospital, my kids put in a new school, social services at my door, counselling and other issues to put into place, I also found out that I had to have a brain surgery to live. With only 5 neurosurgeons in town, my choices were already slim, but without insurance, it was worse. Nobody wanted to take me as a patient to begin with, because I only had a 25% chance of survival and they didn't want that over their head, should I not make it.
By March, I had left my job and was making arrangements for my surgery. I was also being evicted by the same man who was ripping me off for my paycheck. Yes, in a desperate situation, my landlord was my boss. I had to do what I had to do. These kids only have me, so if I can't do, they don't have. It's not like their father plans to do anything to ever have to pay child support.
In April, my dad decided to make a surprise visit, and one Sunday afternoon the family took a nap. We woke up to Pop coming through the door. Not a good thing. He conveniently showed up a week after the 2nd rescheduling of my surgery and a week before my said eviction date. I say said, because this man knew he couldn't pull legal action against me. I could expose him and have him deported. But I had a much larger battle to fight for - my life. My dad was beside himself, wondering what we were going to do. I told him what God told me: That He may not come when I call Him, but He will always be on time. At 10pm the night before I had to be out of that house, I got twice the house for the same price, wonderful landlords, beautiful house! It was that easy. Three days later, I was back in the emergency room for another week stay and a surgery. No, not the surgery that we've been talking about.. another one. Now for the third time, my brain surgery had to be rescheduled. My dad was getting antsy, but he had to go so he left - only to have to return five weeks later. What made it worse was that my kids reported my dad, the abuser, and the schools made me sign over temporary custody files. This harsh reality made things really difficult for a few days, but the key importance was how everybody stuck together and came through it together. I had gotten a lot of help and it was amazing to see how many people were in my corner. On the other side of the road, most people have gone on and I appear to be doing well.
I keep my private life, private. Everything is not for everybody. Once on the road to recovery, I got myself situated a little better and soon after getting the internet, came across others in the free Hawaii movement. The rest was history. I have come to this, and despite my hardships, will never let anything come in between myself and my goals. With that being said, disabilities can only hold my pace, but they will never control my race. Or I set out to win, that's what I'll do.
Here I am, finally connected to our people and actively working on our end to achieve our common goal to free our aina, to give our iwi peaceful rest and comfort for the future of our Kanaka Maoli. Onipa'a...
Kahala Lei
copyright 2012
